Etiquette for Save the Dates   by William Jacques

in Relationships / Marriage    (submitted 2011-11-15)

Listed below, you'll find 7 of the most popular questions about wedding save the date etiquette.

Do we need to send save-the-dates?
It's not essential to send cards, magnets or postcards, however if you would like as many of your invitees as possible to go to the wedding, you definitely should make sure they know the date as early as you can.

Do we really need to send save-the-dates to all of our invitees?
Okay, so you have chose to send STDs (and no, not that type). Here is your (not so gold) star: * for keeping everyone in the know. If you have an extremely limited budget, you may wish to skip those attendees that you talk to on a regular basis including siblings and friends. However, save the date cards are not that pricey so if you can spare the extra $50, then mail them to all your family and friends.

When do you send save the dates?
You can actually send them out as soon as you know your date and location, but 6-12 months prior to your day is a sensible length of time.
Note: it can likely take at least 2 -4 weeks to have your cards or magnets printed and delivered. That is why you should, try and order them at least 30 days prior to when you'd like to send them to your invited guests.

Who do we address the save the dates to?
It is best to address the save-the-dates to the people that you intend on inviting to the wedding. If you intend on just inviting your cousin and her spouse and not their 8 children, then make sure to be obvious on the save-the-date and not include the children or "and family". If you have friends that are with someone whom you don't really know (and wouldn't be invited on their own), then you can just address the save-the-date to your friend and you'll add the name of the +1 to the actual invitation if they're still together.
Note: you are able to add invitees when you send your invitations but it would be tricky to remove invitees who you've sent a save the date to.

How do we address save the dates?
Save the dates are not too formal, but if you've picked a more formal design and/or you will be throwing a really formal affair, then addressing them in a formal way is the best choice.
For reference, formal could read something like this: Mr. and Mrs. Michael Jones.
Informal addressing could look like this: Michael and Stephanie Jones.
Note: Some of your older guests may appreciate a more formal usage of their names than your friends, so you might want to address your aunt and uncles' cards different then the way you address your very best friends'.

What happens if we modify the wedding venue or date?
This should not be an issue as save-the-dates really should be sent when you have booked (and likely put an initial deposit down) for a venue and date. Nevertheless, if it happens, you can notify your guests of the change on the phone.

Does the bride or groom's name go first on a save the date?
Usually wedding stationary has the bride's name 1st, then again they are normally informal therefore you don't have to be too particular about it.

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And finally, if you have an interest in wedding save the date, please check out http://indieweddingguide.com/save-the-dates/.