Healing a Broken Heart Without a Rebound Fling   by Ruben

in Relationships / Singles    (submitted 2011-03-11)

In this article I'm going to give you a few pointers on the post breakup process. In fact, I'm going to show you how to get over your breakup, how to get your life back together, and finally feel happy again.

One thing that you need to understand if you want to feel better, you can't do so through rebound flings. This is a much debatable topic amongst many relationship gurus, but from the experience I've had and the hundreds of dumpees that I've worked with rebound flings backfire and make people's situations even worse. Let me explain.

Most people after being in a long-term relationship are a bit cocky when it comes to love and dating. For a long period of time they've had someone that felt so strongly about them. Since this is the case they are used to having a sense that they can get another mate. However, when they are actually put in a situation where they are single again, finding a mate isn't as easy as they once thought.

I've seen women who think they can go out to a bar at night, and have dozens of guys showing them all sorts of of time and attention. Although this is true for certain girls, for the large majority of women this won't happen. They get dolled up and go out with their friends only to find out that three guys talk to them, and none of them were good looking. In fact, most of the guys she talked with only reminded her of her ex which only made her feel worse. Even if the girl is with the guy that is to her liking, everything and anything about that man will remind her of her ex. So either way it's a lose-lose situation that she's putting herself in.

As for men, it's even worse. At least for women when they go out to bars and nightclubs, men will approach them out of the blue. For a man, it's their job to initiate a conversation with the women he wants to meet. If you've been in a long-term relationship, you might be extremely rusty when it comes to dating and flirting. I've seen guys go out at night thinking that there going to hook up with all sorts of women in order to get his ex out of his mind, only to be in a bar and feel extremely awkward trying to approach a girl.

A lot of the times, people just want to get into the rebound relationships just to make their ex jealous. Sometimes this may work, but again, for the large majority of cases this strategy simply backfires. Most of the time, their ex can sense that they are simply with the other person just to make them feel jealous. They'll be able to see through your motive and they'll know even more how much you still miss them and how much you still want them in your life. Sadly enough, this does not ignite attraction inside of them, yet only strengthens their decision to break up with you in the first place.

So be sure not to try to find other partners to make yourself feel better. If anything it's going to make you feel much worse and is only going to prolong the healing process that much more. Take some time for yourself and heal organically. Use this time to learn more about yourself, about the relationships you've been in in the past, and what you can do to improve your life for the future. By doing this you'll use the breakup to the bring your life to level you've never even thought imaginable.

About the Author

Although these are a few tips on healing a broken heart, there are other tips you can apply to your life as well. To learn these and even possibly advice if you are asking yourself how to get my ex back, be sure to check out Breakup Hub. This is a site for those suffering from breakups and are confused on how to handle their situation.