Smartest President EVER!   by Michael D. Hume, M.S.

in Entertainment / Humor    (submitted 2012-02-03)

Able To Solve All The Complex Problems, All At Once

by Michael D. Hume, M.S.

We're in a tight spot here in America, possibly because NO ONE could've realized how badly the previous U.S. administration had balled things up - not even the smartest president ever, who got us to give him the job based on the assurance that he - and only he - could fix it. Here we are, though, more than three years later, and just look at how brilliantly it's all coming together.

Consider all these diverse and complex problems. You've got a bloated military, ballooned-up because of crazy stuff like Constitutional requirements to defend the nation in an increasingly dangerous world. You've got union auto workers, who only make $67.50 an hour and need a guaranteed pension for life... but then, you've also got all this national debt, a sour economy, and sheesh! Don't get me started on unemployment. Why, every month, more young people attempt to enter the work force than there are new jobs, so it just keeps getting worse.

But if you're smart - and I mean, SUPER smart, the smartest president EVER - you can synthesize these problems and create just a few key solutions to solve them all at once.

The administration has just announced that they're going to downsize the military by sacking officers and enlisted lifers who're just on the brink of retirement - that way, no need to pay those spendy military retirements! Any knucklehead (such as myself) can see where this is heading: the move clears the way to offer our brave men and women in uniform a retirement gift that's far more valuable than money. I'm talking about the car everyone wants, the Chevy Volt!... the sales of which are lagging (just over 600 units sold in January, worldwide). See what we did there? We turned a problem - sagging sales of a great union-produced vehicle that just has a little problem with spontaneous combustion - and turned it into an opportunity. The government can pay MUCH more for a Volt than any normal person would, and voila! There's your auto union pension. And the soldier overstock? You just put your out-to-pasture soldier in a Volt, set it, and forget it! Problem solved.

Next, unemployment. The average daft president would try to solve the problem by lowering tax rates, incentivizing investment, getting people to start a business and encouraging investors to hire. Nothing new there! Instead, notice how the smartest president ever solves the problem by reducing the number of workers through health "reform" that encourages (requires) large-scale contraception and abortion. When you're smart, you see that the problem isn't that America is producing too little employment, but that we're producing too many employees! It'll take awhile before the new law weans us from our national habit of having families... but eventually, progressively, it'll make everything all better.

Hope and change? That was underselling it. Re-elect this administration, and we're in for four more years of unicorns, lollipops, sunshine, rainbows, and love... all at the same time!

About the Author

Michael Hume is a speaker, writer, and consultant specializing in helping people enjoy health, wealth, and inspiring lives. Those who want to make money "one less thing to worry about" can learn more at http://tinyurl.com/myownbiznow - anyone wanting more vitality can browse http://shop.enivausa.com/239824 - visit Michael's web site at http://michaelhume.net