The Evolution of the Best Man   by David Harst

in Relationships / Weddings    (submitted 2011-03-28)

From earliest recorded time, man has needed help from another to gain his bride-to-be. In the case of the Germanic Goths, the best man was the one who helped the groom kidnap his bride from a neighboring village. This only happened when their own village ran out of available women to be claimed. The term came into being as the groom picked the 'best man' for the job.

By 200 AD, he was still more of a bodyguard than a best friend and assistant. If her family came to try to rescue her, he routed them out. That was his duty. He would even continue to stand guard after the ceremony, in case the bride's family was delayed.

During the ceremony, the bride is to the left and the best man is to the right. This is so that if somebody does attempt to rescue her, his right hand is free to do battle. Over time, the role of best man has remained. However current expectations have been in place for at least the last 200 years.

The only remaining role from those earliest responsibilities is that he keep the rings safe. Apparently, the cause for concern was very real as archaeologists have discovered weapons under some alters, proving that they were indeed prepared to go to battle if need be, to make sure the wedding was performed to completion.

The level of responsibility the best man has now can be overwhelming. He is to basically do anything the groom needs him to, in addition to his explicit duties of preparing and throwing the bachelor party and giving a very important toast to the bride and groom at the reception. He is also expected to help the groom select their formal wear, pick it up in a timely fashion, attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, sign the marriage certificate after the wedding and mingle at the reception, introducing himself to all and sundry and making sure they're having fun.

More than a few men have stated they'd rather have been wearing a sword and ready to do battle at their best friend's side than have to give a speech. Nothing like a little stage fright to bring on a horrible case of the jitters. The best thing you can do to avoid it is have a little chat with yourself. This isn't about you. If you didn't hear it the first time, say it again. THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU.

This is the most important day in the life of your best friend. Make him the focus, and you won't be nervous. I mean, let's be honest. People will forget your name before you finish making a toast to the bride and groom. 'Dave? Or Steve? I don't know, I could barely hear him.' So don't worry. Just write your speech, memorize it to the best of your ability, and bring along notes in case you get lost. You'll be fine.

At least you're not risking death so he can marry the girl.

About the Author

If you are having trouble writing your best man speech, see these 7 tips for writing best man speeches at this video. Also, if your groom is having trouble with his speech, you can give him some tips from this video about the groom speeches. Good luck!