Win Back An Ex With These Special Tips   by Russell Strider

in Relationships    (submitted 2011-08-09)

It's a known fact that emotions tend to impair our judgment and for this reason a number of individuals do exactly what they should not do when they are faced with the pain of a breakup. When dealing with any kind of problem it is best to first of all stop the bleeding and only then work through the issue that triggered it in the first place. This guideline perfectly applies to relationships. Clearly, there have been problems that have contributed to the breakup and those will have to be dealt with in due time for you to win back an ex, but to begin with we should concentrate on the short-term options you could apply.

We as humans are hard-wired to not feel attraction if we see specific things, so the very first thing you must do is to avoid such behavior. In brief, this suggests you will need to quit being overly agreeable, passive and weak. Even if they do not consciously realize it, women generally seek out strong men who are independent and will offer them protection. There are 4 main mistakes men make when trying to win back an ex:

Mistake #1: Thinking that being a nice guy increases your chances

Society is polluted by the belief that becoming a "nice guy" is exactly what women actually seek out, but nothing is further from the simple truth. By thoughtlessly agreeing with everything your wife or girlfriend says and does, you will never have a successful relationship, unless you're interested in control freaks. Conflict always sparks interest and attraction, while always being predictable, insecure and passive offers nothing except boredom and monotony.

Mistake #2: Bringing logic into the discussion

There is absolutely no chance you can argue a person into returning to you. You can logic yourself out of a relationship, however the other way around does not work. Emotions are felt, and not understood. The heart responds to actions and stimuli, and not logic.

Mistake #3: Literally humiliating yourself

Lots of guys act like a doormat by employing phrases such as "Please don't leave me, I'll do anything you want!" In the event a woman returns to you after you behave like this, you can actually be sure that she's going to leave you once more after a couple of weeks.

Mistake #4: Spending a lot of money on flowers and gifts

Please don't get me wrong, there is certainly nothing wrong with being generous, however giving gifts needs to be practiced for something aside from trying to kindle attraction. Quite the contrary! By showering a woman with gifts what you do is communicate that you do not value yourself very much and you feel you must offer her stuff in exchange for love.

To conclude, there's nothing wrong with having to deal with a breakup. It happens to everyone and it's a simple fact of life. However, the thing that matters is the way you cope with it and most of the time the counter-intuitive actions are the ones that work the most effectively when attempting to win back an ex.

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